More Metrosexual Machismo

Posted: June 17, 2012 in Desire, Fag Up!, Identity, Masculinities, metrosexuality
Tags: ,

This is a poem by Mervyn Morris, I think it speaks for itself.


Flaunting his gym-toned pectorals,

washboard stomach,

fashion- conscious locks,

he worked the image of philanderer,

every woman’s fantasy or threat.

But something tremulous inside

his gravelly baritone exposed

a small boy quivering in the dark,

his mother dead, his father gone away,

groping for explanations.


I have found myself returning again and again to the question of how machismo relates to metrosexual masculinity? I don’t know if I can answer it. But the above poem is definitely as good an attempt as any.

  1. well, this might be hard to putt into words and might seem surprising from someone who writes about “men’s issues” but I’ve always disliked the company of other men. Some women I seem to be able to handle in small doses. I’ve always been distrustful of other guys. If another man tries to befriend me I am often suspicious that he is either gay and trying to pick up on me or only wants a “sidekick” he can somehow use–either as a so-called wingman or someone to slowly build up then tear down for his own self esteem.

    Really the only true male friend I had was my dog. We could spend hours together and there was no sense he was trying to 1 up me. I always felt a sense of competition and pressure when around other men-especially my father whom luckily I have almost no contact with. Being around other guys is like being at my job-on the clock, constant pressure to be something I’m not. To putt on a mask. Yeah, I don’t like the machismo. I often talk in a deep voice and say the craziest things that come to mind doing a “parody” of machismo. People usually think I’m serious. Think of Marcus Fenix in Gears of War. I do this almost daily and I’ll get smiles from girls and deference from guys larger than me, so it’s almost automatic. I’m putting on a bluff and I never get called out for it.

    Also, the discussions of “masculinity” here have had a bit of sterility. that is, not really talk of fighting, drinking, drug use. Yeah, I know that’s the so-called “toxic masculinity” but not discussing that is leaving out allot of parts. There’s been a sense of this-is-not-real-to-my-life in these discussions.

    • QRG says:

      Thanks stoner a very insightful comment. I might have to think about it more before responding properly.

      I would be quick to admit though that I may not cover much of what seems ‘real’ to many men’s lives here. I am a) not a man and b) don’t hang round in groups of men very often. I have quite a lot of men friends but some of them are gay, some are very ‘untypical’ and I would tend to see them alone or in twos or with their girlfriends. The ‘drinking and fighting, drug use’ is not something I come across much in a group of men.

      But I think doing a ‘parody’ of machismo is probably quite a smart way to get yourself through the day!

      • Quiet Riot Girl,

        one time, I think you wrote about moshpits and being scared. I think that is closer to a “primal” male experience. I’ve jumped in a few mosh pits, never went to an “enlightened” men’s group with the drum circles….

        I might’ve dropped this link before, but for me there was a “pecking order” growing up and the “price of masculinity” is unbelievably high in my view….

        • QRG says:

          Yes mosh pits are quite primal. and yeah I am a bit scared of them!

          I think I did read your piece about high school sucking too.

          You’re right, straight men are judged for talking about being men when gay men and feminist women are given free reign. I am going to post something about that soon. I will quote your post it’s good.

    • Titfortat says:


      I hear ya man. Though I do have some male friends, few of them are what I would say close. I totally get what you mean in regards to “real” life for men. Most of what I hear on these sites would never, ever be uttered by most of the guys that I know. And I deal with the public. I did a post a while back that speaks of what you say.

  2. Derek Banks says:

    What the shit did I just read?
    What the shit did I just see?
    Please take away the things I’ve just seen!

    Seriously that site blog or whatever is as bad as tumblr’s teenybobbers thinking they know a damn thing about anything.

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