I’m Too Metrosexy For My Speedos

Posted: October 4, 2011 in metrosexuality, Metrosexy
Tags: ,

I don’t really know what to say about this. Luckily, MetroDaddy does:

‘Finally, a party anthem for Jersey Shore, Geordie Shore, The Only Way is Essex, The Hunks, Men’s Health Magazine — and pretty much an entire generation of young men and the metaphorical (and not so metaphorical) spangly Speedos they’re flaunting themselves in.’

I may have a couple of tiny observations to add, though.

1) The repeated line ‘I work OUT’ seems to be sending up macho metrosexual gym bunnies, because the guy singing it is really rather scrawny. There are also two uber-buff men in one shot who look like they are wearing muscle suits, and who are made to seem quite camp. There’s also some send up of fashion conscious metro boys, by emphasising the tacky ‘animal print’ pants and speedos that the singer and his posse are rocking.  At last! Some playful ribbing of the GTL culture!

2) ‘Girl Look At That Body’ another refrain, suggests the men in the video are inviting the ‘female’ or ‘metrosexual’ gaze overtly. In fact, the whole video shows people gawping at the main crew. It reminds me of the classic ‘I’m Too Sexy For My Shirt’ by Right Said Fred. But that we knew was a ‘gay anthem’ in some ways, whereas this, is definitely, as Mr Simpson says, Metrosexy.

h/t @lawrencejgreen

Comments
  1. marc2020 says:

    Also I notice the only 3 women in the video (they are there you’ve just really got to look) are hardly showing off any flesh at all and are rocking outfits and haircuts that are quite masculine in nature, not to mention they’re being open about their enjoyment and objectification of the men in the video. I think were most definitely through the looking glass now people.

    • we are most definitely through the looking glass!

      That’s a good point about the women in the vid I hadn’t thought of it like that. It is pretty dramatic to have men in their bathing suits on a beach being looked at in a pop video instead of women!

  2. Lawrence says:

    Towards the end (just before wiggle wiggle wiggle if memory serves) the more buff of the pair who has been seemingly looked on at the scrawney one with anger and discust pushes him off the bar and then starts doing the same thing. A take down of macho retro denial? I mean probably not, but interesting none the less.

    As to the point made by marc2020 – there is one point where a man covers the eyes of his (presumably) girlfriend whilst looking on with almost untempered lust – we are deffs through the looking glass.

    Are there any metro love songs do you think? Not metros doing love songs (Boy bands ect). Can metro culture do love? Or did the heart go into the closet when the abs and packet came out?

    It would mean a shift in focus away from the self (most modern popular love songs seem to be more about the lover than the lovee) which perhaps is no longer possible or desireable.

    It would be nice to find a middle ground between the owning of objects and the meeting of souls

    (GAAAAAY)

  3. hahaha,

    That was filmed in Venice Beach, CA–same place where Juliet Lewis is rollerblading in Strange Days. Great place. There is an outdoor gym there. that’s where a few shots were from-I think called Muscle Beach. The whole thing about the outdoor gym, seems to me a place to show off rather than work out. I never liked “gym culture” as it seemed more like “showing off” than getting stronger or staying healthy….

  4. tu quoque says:

    I honestly don’t seen anything metrosexy about this at all, and actually it evidences how far we’ve regressed, even since the mid-nineties.

    Humor is the primary way western culture renders male sexuality harmless and inconsequential. Just look at how hollywood has devalued the male body in the just the past ten years. There have been dozens upon dozens of movies that have put male genital on blatant, uncensored display, and never with the appreciative awe that should greet a beautiful human body; and yet, not a single mainstream movie has shown a vulva in clear view. That’s because the penis is now considered inherently comedic and ridiculous looking, while the vulva is allowed to be mysterious, dangerous, and seductive. American censors have always allowed sex and nudity to be shown as long as it’s defanged with comedy, which is way the male body has been so callously exploited lately. Taboo and modesty engender respect and the male body hasn’t been privileged with those characteristics for a long time.

    Considering that Nine Inch Nail’s “Closer” video, which presented a man’s body as the center of dark, fetishistic appreciation, came out fifteen years ago, and we’ve devolved into this new category of prudishness is nothing less than depressing.

    • good points AJ but I’d say the salt n pepa video shows the women in the frame, and the women’s bodies, a lot more than the men. And like you say when the women look at the men stripping off it is very much a ‘female’ gaze. But the Sexy and I Know It video is all about the men *inviting* and demanding the gaze, not just of women but of men too.

      • tu quoque says:

        Yes “Shoop” shows a lot more female skin than the LMAO video, but that’s primarily because Salt-N-Pepa are all women and you have to show them in their own video.

        There’s nothing seductive or challenging about “Sexy and I Know It.” It takes humor and irony and drapes it over the male bodies like a burlap sack. It’s translucent censorship.

        Think about this: bare male chests are not nudity; bare female chests are nudity. Bare homologous skin is categorically different between genders based on a perception of sexiness. The humor in videos like this is meant to drag the viewer into a anti-sexual state of mind. These men are far more naked than girls in music videos ever are, wagging their genitals in a way that would case a shitstorm if they were women, and yet the viewer ends up ceasing to see nudity or sexuality at all.

  5. tu quoque says:

    Just look at this video by Salt-N-Pepa from 1994:

    This is honest-to-goodness, uncomplicated female gaze. This doesn’t exist anymore. How are we living in more sexually unbound times?

  6. elissa says:

    Humor seems to remain the big sexy play in this video, as does the confidence of being on full display without the arsenal of buffness – both are quite classical traits of male sexuality. The accessories and flamboyance (dance) seem to be the main staples of metro sexiness on display.

    Still – lot of camera attention on cock jiggling, not unlike the boob jiggling we see all too often. And a couple of sightings of the “hedgehog” big cock Ron Jeremy in the midst.

    Overt confidence in spite of the full goods. Feels more like a Brooklyn style drag queen dance set in Venice beach.

  7. elissa says:

    Yes – that is him. Ole time classic porn actor with a big cock.

    Not very attractive by most porn standards, and has made himself a good career out of not being attractive.

    And Jewish to boot!

  8. elissa says:

    He’s at :44 and 2:39 in the video

  9. Small cameo by http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alistair_Overeem too.

    And “scrawny” is a little harsh on the main dude. Toned and lithe seems closer to the mark…

  10. elissa says:

    Excuse the mention here, as it’s not on topic: but holy fuck – you have a piece up on The Spearhead! The subject matter is quite controversial tossed into that crowd.

    Not really sure who is the “bull” and who is the “china shop” between you and the readers on that website.

    I’m thinking you have the balls of a Paglia…

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