Metro Boys Have More Fun

Posted: August 25, 2011 in cock, Desire, metrosexuality, Uncategorized Chris at the marvellous Law and Sexuality blog, seems to have the hots for Philip Oliver, actor, ‘gay mag pin up’ and as Chris calls him, ‘metrosexual cock tease’. He is fit it’s true though I remember him as a scrappy kid in Brookside with a whiny voice which ruins the metro macho image for me, a bit. Anyway, Chris seems a little bit disgruntled that this ‘straight’ young buck is ‘playing with the gay boys’ but not actually, you know, playing ball.

‘He’s repeatedly said he’s straight in all the gay magazine interviews (of which there are many) that he’s done. In 2005, he was a national judge on Mr Gay UK and he’s appeared at various gay pride events and in 2010 appeared in a BBC soap, Doctors, playing a gay yoga teacher so he’s a straight guy who likes playing with the gay boys.

This is a metrosexual who has apparently made some money from the gay community and so it perhaps helps if men keep thinking there’s a possibility of some sexual liaison. In that sense, he is the professional cock tease. He is very very good at it.’
I responded to this particular remark by reminding Chris that the ‘gay community’ (is it a community of shopkeepers and bar tenders by any chance? It is certainly commerical) has also made money from metrosexual men’s ‘desire to be desired’. The gay magazine and gay porn industries profit from men’s narcissism and from their  newfound ability to show off their assets without automatically being labelled as ‘gay’.
Chris continued: ‘It wasn’t therefore a total surprise to learn of his latest ‘escapade’ (pictured below). He’s on Twitter as @officialoliver and had been interacting with out gay Coronation Street (huge Brit soap tv show) actor Charlie Condou via twitter. A curious thing to do you might think, but happily the Charlie Condou fan site ‘Charlie Condou Confidential’ caught the relevant tweets.
Oliver later tweeted: ‘Noooooooo! Note to self. Stay away from twitter when intoxicated. Noooooooooooooooo! xx’.
Condou replied: Charliecondou: @officialolivier ‘Mate, can’t wait to see that photo in Heat xx’.

‘It can only be a matter of time before such confident heterosexuals start posting pictures of them being mounted by a very well endowed porn star whilst fellating his best mate. “Just for the craic like”

I said I didn’t find Oliver’s ‘No Speedo’ antics very surprising, when men have been proving their heterosexual credentials by doing very homosexual things, ever since those categories were invented. It looks to me like good old-fashioned hazing, mediated by postmodern social media and metrosexual exhibitionism.

I suggested teasingly to Chris that he may have been jealous that he was not in the position of Oliver’s gay friend, receiving the naked pic. He replied:

‘I’m not jealous of the scenario actually. I hate teases. I like things that actually happen (so if he had been viewing Mr Oliver’s bottom int he flesh, yes, but a picture no) :-)’

I found this response odd as I have always thought that metrosexual imagery and indeed gay porn is one big cock tease. The viewer of the porn, or the sporno advert doesn’t actually get to suck David Beckham’s cock, or fuck Jeff Stryker up the arse (does anyone?) does he? Isn’t that what visual stimulation is? The promise of something that will not happen? Isn’t that the definition of desire itself?

But I think Chris may be saying that what Oliver is ‘teasing’ us with is the idea that he might, might be up for some homo action. And Chris seems to be suggesting that if he is not, then that is one tease too far. At least porn actors actually get it on and out. Even if the ‘gay for pay’ ones don’t really mean it.

Metrosexual culture is confusing. I am the first to admit that! But in that confusion there is some potential for men to stop ‘going round with one hand tied behind their backs’.  I see some playful sense of ‘freedom’ in Oliver’s photo. And if it is as far as he goes down homo lane, that is his own business. In comparison to the modern metroman, gay men could be seen to be more constrained in many ways, in terms of their sexual identities.  I sense some jealousy of that freedom from many gay men.

As for ‘No Speedo’. That has given me an idea…

  1. lol. Thanks QRG – it’s like a free therapy session 🙂

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