Unruly Girls…

Posted: April 28, 2011 in Feminism, Freedom of Speech, Morrissey, Uncategorized
Tags: ,

‘QRG is a good example of someone I want to respect because she’s smart and sometimes says interesting things — but her constant grandstanding and insistence on trying to dominate discussions that have nothing to do with what SHE wants to talk about*, always piss me off. She doesn’t listen to moderators, she dismisses attempts at facilitating a calmer discussion, she demands that everyone focus on her at all times, and she refuses to acknowledge that she might ever be at fault when discussions go explodey.

It’s a shame, because I think that if she were more willing to have a real conversation, she might actually be able to do some of what she claims to want to do. I am leaving this comment because there are always tons of lurkers reading these threads, and I want to make it really clear why I think her behavior is bad, because if someone else has the same level of intelligent disagreement she does, she’s a really good example of how NOT to communicate about it.’

-Lady Madame Princess Clarisse Thorn

http://www.feministe.us/blog/archives/2011/04/26/i-know-i-can-fight-rape-culture-by/#comments

*This comment was made on a discussion about ‘rape culture’ in which I made comments about ‘rape culture’. It was not ‘nothing to do with’ what I wanted to talk about, it was just that I disagreed with the majority view on the subject.

Comments
  1. hahaha you gotta get that bumper sticker that says “well Behaved Women Rarely Make History” and mail it to Clarisse…..

  2. Tim says:

    Yes, how can you be intelligent and not act accordingly ?!?

    i mean when well-educated folks such as yourself have to discuss an issue (only dumb people have problems, you know), you are supposed to sit down with a cup of tea and biscuits. Has nobody told you how to properly act yet ? Jesus !

  3. elflojo84 says:

    Ooooh QRG you have been an UNRULY GIRL!!!!

    Aren’t you NAUGHTY!

    Daddy’s going to have to give you a SPANKING!

    ………………………..but seriously. You do seem to have a particularly combatitive nature (don’t take that as a criticism), but really not that far removed from most people on the internet with Strong Opinions. The difference is your willingness (dare I say “perverse attraction”…?) to go into those areas of the internet populated by aggressive people agreeing with each other and argue like shit with them!

    This phrase is important: “she demands that everyone focus on her at all times” – the author doesn’t seem to have picked up on the fact that it isn’t YOU, per se, demanding to be the centre of attention, it’s that when all meaningful dissent has been excluded from the discussion anyone dissenting becomes by default the centre of attention. It’s like a security breach, al lthe alarms and flashing lights start going off, everyone runs like hell to the breach to find and destroy the intruder and repair the hole so they can get back to sitting safely protected from the evil ravages of the outside world…!

    • yes I know what you mean elflojo. I dont ask for ‘attention’ I just make a point that sets off the ‘alarms’!

      Idont know about me being combative. I am not really, as a person. and there are parts of the internet where I appear almost conciliatory. I won’t give up going into feminist spaces, because they are where gender gets defined. and gender is my thing.

      • elflojo84 says:

        I think – following on from that – they wrongly interpret your motives for coming to their “safe space” as well. You’re probably familiar with a recurring CiF gender thread (and probably other feminist blogs to, I tend to avoid them…) put-down when someone criticises feminism: “if you don’t like feminism, why come on here and complain about it? I don’t go on the football threads and tell everyone I hate football!”

        Of course the two aren’t comparable because football is jsut an interest, with no real impact on society outside football, feminism is a political movement which has influence, it is concerned with issues which affect everyone whether feminist or not. They seem to simultaneously believe that feminism is vital to shaping the whole of society; and that anyone who isn’t a paid-up member of their club should have no say on “its” issues!

        I spend a fair amount of time on the Guardian cricket blogs which are brilliant, a load of people with a common interest who get along well and chat cricket and other random shit together. It’s a nice cosy little group of eccentric fanatics, basically! Then you sometimes get some twat coming on going “ha ha ha cricket, whata boring game, you’re so stupid lolz!!!!!!!”, and it is just annoying, what’s the point? What are you hoping to achieve? Do you not notice how pathetic you look?

        I think that’s what they see you as doing – just jumping in to a group of people discussing their common “hobby” which has no impact on you, and telling them you don’t like it, which is pathetic and pointless. But you’re not doing that, you’re objecting to the discussions they have, the views they spread which have a real world impact on all of us. You can’t have it both ways; you’re either a cosy little club centred round common interests of no relevance to anyone outside, or you’re a political / social force and therefore open to criticism from anyone.

  4. redpesto says:

    The odd thing is, I’ve read way too many threads on gender (especially over at the Guardian) where commenters with exactly the opposite views to QRG pull exactly the same stunt, citing exactly the kinds of positions that QRG criticises.

    PS: re. the ‘Intruder Alert!’/’Security Breach on Deck 9’ analogy – very amusing.

  5. innegative says:

    From occassioning your blog and twitter etc; from the point of view of a casual observer, I think it would be hard to deny you strike a fairly inflammatory posture. This isn’t wholly a bad thing – it’s quite commonplace on the internet and I think violent posture is one way of courting interest, attention and a mini-celebrity/entertainment value. It is also one of the only ways you can exist for others in virtual space and I think generally you are arguing for the right things and carrying yourself well.

    On the other hand though, I think there is always a balance to be struck between this kind of incendiary posturing and guaging where someone wants to make a genuine and authentic contact. Reading that chick’s comment, I wonder if this isn’t what she feels like she’s tried to do – make contact with you, but got lost in the blaze? A key issue of the 21st century is almost certainly going to be how we handle exchange – individualism has put a wrecking ball through the heart of exchange. Electric signs and disappearance is helping nothing. An ethics of communication has to allow for the existence of the other too and I think it’s hard to get that right especially in virtual space. Violence and iconic indifference are necessary for existence in a world of signs and yet somewhere there is ‘the other’ who is trying to be seen too.

    • You’d have to read the history of my communications with Clarisse, Innegative. I think if you did you’d be stuck to find examples of ‘violence’ in my interactions with her.

      I think you are highlighting one aspect of how I communicate and ignoring/not seeing any of the others.

      • innegative says:

        I think I’m highlighting the part she was focused on, I had no wish to imply that it’s all you are. I don’t think that at all. I think in this instance though it’s what she is focused on, and yes, you are probably quite right – I’d have to read the whole thing.

        I incidentally wasn’t being critical either. I mostly like what you do, though gays are boring😉

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