Posted: March 19, 2011 in Uncategorized

This is a quick housekeeping post.

Sometimes I am too soft on people who like to have a go at me and dismiss my views and frankly insult me personally, Online (and also in ‘RL’).

But I am toughening up.

I do not censor people on my blog. I publish all comments unless they are persistently aggressive, personal attacks.

But this is my space. It is where I express and try out new ideas, offload, scribble notes, talk to friends, bounce things off the walls.

It’d be a rubbish space without you.

But show some respect ok? You will know if this applies to you or not. If you don’t, I might have to send you to my office…

  1. Hiya Quiet Riot Girl,

    Hope you won’t find this “derailling.”

    A few I was at my favorite Clothing Optional beach enjoying the full suntan. A lady approached me and asked if she could snap a few pix…..

    And some people doubt the existence of female gaze…..

    Rock On!

    Stoner with a Boner

    • McDuff says:

      The denial of the “female gaze”, or indeed of female sexual agency at all, doesn’t strike me as one of those things anyone feminist has done (although I hang around circles where people have arguments about what exactly counts as “feminist porn” so yeah) since 1972.

      The idea that one should protect a lady’s modesty by shielding her eyes from that which she finds offensive is pretty old school gendered shit. Men are all horndogs who want sex, ladies tolerate sex because they want children and houses and shit.

      It’s funny because “het women love cocks” is one of those amazingly obvious things (I mean obviously not all cocks and within the right contexts and with the obvious ‘if you’re the exception to that I am cool with your sexuality’ caveats etc) which traditional masculine socialisation does its very best to hide from men. There are all kinds of constructions and layers we put on top of the concept of “women who like cocks” to hide the obvious fact from ourselves that it’s actually a perfectly natural by-product of being a primate of a certain sex/orientation.

      Because if you do that it would be obvious to young men that female sexuality is not a scary, unnavigable wilderness populated by demi-humans who demand strange and inexplicable sacrifices. And where would society be if we taught our men that women actually like sex? Fuck me, the sky would fall in or something.

      And, on the flip side, I’m sure there are women out there who have told themselves they don’t like cocks because they think that’s not the kind of thing a nice, respectable lady is supposed to like. Obviously I cannot speak from as much experience there, although I imagine that teaching women “liking sex” and “being a filthy hobag” are not the same thing would probably have similar consequences re: skies falling in, which is obviously why we devote so much energy towards perpetuating a culture which teaches them the exact opposite. Obviously.

      It’s pretty crappy for everyone involved, really.

  2. that’s what she said 😉

  3. McDuff says:

    You know, three reply levels is rubbish. It means things like this happen where responses get distributed all over the place.

    As to whether it exists, well, “gaze” is as much a proscriptive part of gender as it is an observation: I think we can be well aware that things like “the male gaze” can exist without them necessarily being accurate reflections of how all men look at all things at all times, because gender is there to self-police and let you know how it should be done. To that extent, “the female gaze” isn’t going to be so much of a monolithic cultural thing because they’re not supposed to have one at all; the reality is naturally going to be much more fractured because once they’re doing any kind of looking they’re already breaking the rules.

    But even if there is no such thing as “the female gaze” per se, that doesn’t say much about whether an individual lady would enjoy taking photos of a nice young man with his tackle out, so… I’m not sure really.

  4. Hiya QRG and McDuff,

    That’s what she said was in reference to QRG’s “Nice one.”

    Yes, I was referring to QRG’s article and personal experiences–there’s more on my blog.

    I don’t know how much graphic detail I want to go into here but two women whom I hooked up with, their eyes would light up upon seeing me ejaculate. I also fooled around with a woman who said she preferred females and although we would tenderly caress each other, she didn’t have the same fascination with male genitalia/ejaculation. I’ve also be checked out by women, some discretely, some not as much. (I am far from a male model though in good shape.) That’s one thing that is problematic for feminism, some of ’em want to be good girls ’cause it gives ’em moral high ground, some of ’em want to be ‘dirty” cause it lets them be more human. I prefer the company of those who are “sex positive.” Robert Jensen strikes me as puritanical. I’ve met women who would prefer sex work to working in an office but that doesn’t fit his world view…..

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