Yeah, I stay laced.
But I also stay strapped.
I always keep the biscuit on me.
It’s the only way.
I can get a holster fade on my New Cures.
And that machete ain’t for looks, kid.
This blade has spilled the blood.
Of a thousand ill placed Rugby patches.
A seam ripper is a man’s best friend.
Along with a smart phone and a ruler.
So you can measure your inseam.
And simultaneously tweet about trouser break.
WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!