This is Christina Aguilera. I would. I mean. If I could. No. I mean. OH. I don’t know. She makes me go all funny.
I could have posted a photo of Cate Blanchett, Martha Wainwright, Marilyn Munroe, Annie Lennox, or Sandrine Bonnaire. They all have the same effect on me.
I have seen two of them in real life, (guess which two?) and they sent my stomach spinning. My heart racing.
But you see. These amazing beautiful charismatic articulate soulful women. They just remind me why I am not a dyke.
I’m not even a wannabe lesbian. I haven’t even kissed a girl (would I like it?).
Because. I mean. Beautiful women intimidate me. Not just film stars, pop divas. Any woman that I find in the least bit attractive, I suddenly feel completely awkward in her company. I have many beautiful friends, and that’s ok. I have good boundaries. But those other ones, that make me shiver a little inside. I can barely speak to them.
Men never intimidate me in this way. Not even the most beautiful ones on earth. Sure I might get shy. I might not go up to Vincent Cassell in a crowded bar, even if he looked down on his luck. But I wouldn’t feel unworthy. I think I am as good and as sexy and as vibrant as any man.
But show me an attractive, fuckable, amazing, delectable, sensual, starry, stupendous woman.
And I will turn away, inadequate, full of wistful loss and desire. I will sigh.
That’s why I am not a lesbian.