Rude Boy/Rude Girl #4

Posted: August 6, 2010 in Eminem, Gender Violence, Rihanna

The Official Video Promo to Love The Way You Lie. I can feel the heat as the fans are burning it onto their various devices as I type!

And here, some fans and non-fans begin to discuss a variety of interpretations of the meanings created by this song, its video and its audiences:  Guardian online

  1. It actually feels like their refusal to let me feel comforted/empowered by this song/video is a form of violence in itself. It certainly makes me feel a little bit aggressive. But I am not an aggressive person. So I will just write instead. But I cannot guarantee that my words will not be unacceptably and realistically violent.

  2. Alex says:

    Implying violence and aggression are the same thing.

  3. could you expand please we aren’t on twitter now! 🙂

  4. I use the word ‘violence’ very deliberately to allude to the link between language/discourse and actual violence. Not necessarily ‘aggressive’ language, but the language of power that justifies violence.

  5. alex says:

    Yeah, I can expand, no problem. Aggression is to strongly try to achieve ones aims, and does not necessarily include physical violence.

    I think of it as a positive thing. For example, the subject of a number of your posts could be described as an aggressive campaign. I’m not going to make a value judgment on the actual subject though.

  6. I see what you mean, now Alex. Thanks for explaining!

  7. impeus says:

    ((warning: I’m about to come out with complete garbage about something I’m not qualified to talk about))

    About the Charlotte Observer post you linked to the other day on twitter…

    What annoyed me was actually the choice of quotes used, rather than the tone of the piece itself.

    1. Marjorie Gilberg of Break the Cycle:
    “Do people WANT to be abused? No,” says Gilberg. “They want to be loved.” They may put up with abuse, but that’s a different story.”

    The thing is, some people thrive on elements of this kind of interaction. Some people like to feel controlled and out of control. Some people DO like to be pinned down and hurt. While those kinds of sexual preferences are marginalised, is this the only way some people can find to experience that kind of gratification? The fact that it is marginalised and shameful means they can’t negotiate boundaries?

    2. “That’s a classic line of an abusive man,” says Terry O’Neill, president of the National Organization for Women. “You’re as bad as me, so it’s OK. The fact is, it’s only 2-year-olds and violent men who use violence to get what they want.”

    What utter garbage. It is clearly rubbish that only men and children use violence as a tool.

    I can’t remember where I read a suggestion that Rihanna hasn’t condemned her situation because she saw her own culpability in being part of it (“when a tornado meets a volcano”) – while its an interesting idea its a shame to put words into her mouth like that.

    I do think I must have missed the point of the song and the video though, as I don’t understand Rihanna’s statement that Eminem “Broke down the cycle of domestic violence in a really clever way”. How? The cycle is illustrated, not broken.

    Disclaimer: I’m talking about the cycles of violence and sex portrayed in the video, not some drunken oaf coming home and taking out his inadequacies on the poor mother at home, who can’t leave because she’d be penniless and can’t talk about it because then the kids would have no daddy, etc.

    Read more:

  8. thanks impeus that’s a very articulate analysis of that article! I agree with most of what you say as well. I think the main problem is their concept of ‘the cycle of violence’ is flawed. The violence they describe is merely the result of many deeper, psychological, emotional, and socio-economic issues, that involve all of us I believe.

    I like this video because it shows a sexual dynamic like you say which is normally marginalised in society.

    As for Rihanna’s words and Eminem’s lyrics, I don’t think we need to analyse her too much, the woman has been analysed to death. And never comes out on top as a result. Except I think this song and video show she has come out fighting and strong and sexy.

    Still a fan here!

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