The Notebook Diaries #6 Impasse

Posted: July 6, 2010 in Writing

1. We are not going to fuck because I am not a moral relativist. I care about your partner’s feelings.

2. You are not going to open up to me as a writer because ‘the truth is not your native tongue’.

3. I am not going to absolve you of your sins because I can’t.

4. The notebook is not for your eyes anymore because it doesn’t trust them to look it straight in the eye.

  1. This sounds like sanctimonious bullshit on my part! There is a context. I stand by my points and then I take the paper on which they were scrawled and I screw it into a ball and I toss it into the river, sod the environment. I like symbolic gestures. And I still like the git that led me to such pretentious waffle. But I don’t humour him anymore.

  2. I suddenly had a thought about how lonely someone must be who is living a lie. Who do they confide in? who do they talk to? How do they know who they are? It must be so surreal. when I was having an affair I used to tell absolutely anybody who would listen, just to get it off my chest. I even told my boyfriend at one point, though I went on with it anyway without updating him. I’m pretty sure he knew all the way along. People who love us are not stupid, they just love us.

  3. The notebook is back safe and sound. The last entry from France is kind of perfect for the context. I have had my first submission for the online gamespervertsplay It is brilliant. (already in existence not written bespoke). I still have a probably vain hope of getting something from you. something honest. It could be under another name. But no point having expectations of perverts that don’t want to play the game. : (

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