I get called a lot of names. Some of them are in relation to the work I do advocating the ideas of Mark Simpson.
One of the names that stuck with me the most, was Mark Simpson’s Pitbull.
When I was first given that moniker, by an uptight supergay gay American man, I was annoyed. It seemed slightly ‘dehumanising’. It also irked me a little that people were suggesting I ‘belong’ to Mark, when in fact, over the last few months our friendship has slowly deteriorated.
But after a while I saw the funny side. I quite liked the ‘aggressive’ element in the name. At least I was not being called ‘Mark Simpson’s chihuahua’. I also did a bit of research and found that a man by the name of Thomas Henry Huxley, who promoted Charles Darwin’s theories, back in the day, called himself ‘Darwin’s Bulldog’. Suddenly I felt able to wear the badge with pride.
I may be a pitbull, and I may be able to deal, on a daily basis, with all the teasing and sometimes hostility that comes my way in relation to my love of Mr Simpson’s work. I have even dealt with the breakdown in relations between Mark and myself and continued my project undaunted.
However in the last couple of weeks things between me and Metrodaddy have gone particularly sour. And I have lost my bark, as well as my bite as a result. The things he has done, in the context of our ‘break up’ that have really hurt me include:
Blocking me on facebook causing me to leave the social networking site
Deleting my blogs from the blogroll on his blog
Attempting to restrict me from viewing his site properly
Continuing to use my work and information I send him, but not crediting me or referencing me adequately.
It is the last point that has got to me the most. Partly because I know Mark Simpson is himself very precious about crediting others, and being credited himself. Why do you think I am so diligent about referencing him? So I know this is not an oversight but a deliberate gesture showing me he no longer respects me or values the work I do.
I get the message.
I have thought of a number of ways of responding to this situation. Some have been nasty – deleting my glowing reviews of his books on amazon. Some have been self-destructive- giving up my project altogether and hiding under a rock. Some have been sly – I’m not telling you them, just in case…
But after much agonising I’ve come up with what I think is a hopefully sensible ‘solution’ to the problem.
As some of you know I have a couple of other blogs: Death At The Mall and Metrosexy. Death at The Mall is also the title of a book I am writing, based on Simpson’s theories. Metrosexy is a homage to Simpson’s book of that title, that I encouraged him to write, helped him publish, and continue to promote to this day. But I think one of the problems Mark has with me, is there is too much of me. Once when we were still friends he said in a jokey tone: ‘your’e everywhere!’
Simpson has been blocking and deleting me on parts of the internet so that I am not quite so ‘everywhere’ in his eyes. And, rather than rail against this and fight him, I am going to go with the flow. I am going to ‘hide’ my other two blogs shortly, and only update them privately. I may actually turn Death at The Mall into the ‘book’ itself and organise it in chapters to mark my progress.
This gives Simpson some space, and a chance to be ‘The Daddy’ of metrosexual theory, at least in public on the internet. I am bound to continue using the ‘m’ word, and the ‘M’ word here at QRGHQ, but less than before. I expect this will come as a relief to some of my long suffering readers too! I don’t think I can stop completely talking about Simpson’s work online. I am too enthused by it. If someone says something that reminds me of metrosexuality I am always inspired to mention Mark and his ideas. But I will try and keep this measured. Incidentally if any of you want to see any of my posts from the other two blogs let me know and it can easily be arranged!
So I am turning over a new leaf. The only thing that will make me start up the pitbull’s fight with its ‘master’ again, is:
1) If Mark continues to use my work and not credit me
2) If Mark restricts my ability to view and use his blog for my research
Otherwise everything will be much calmer round here. No More Drama.
There is a saying to the effect that it is amazing how much can get done if no one cares about who gets the credit. You are on the side of the angels on that one QRG.
This is an important issue and there is a lot to be done. This is cultural reform. Too bad he wants to be such a twitchy little queen about it.
‘twitchy little queen’ is not dissimilar to something I called him in private!
I hope it blows over. But you’re right I have been nothing but honourable in crediting him and his work and he’s not returned the favour.
Sometimes time is the main ingredient. I am just guessing, but oy probably made your case to hi,. Give him tiem to come to the right decision. Saxons – you know how they are – a little slow but usually there is a layer of decency way underneath. (Just don’t get started feeding them from the table!)
Thanks Jim that is my feeling too.
You’re taking a very dispassionate and measured approach to a great passion of yours. That’s military grade balls, much beyond pit bull..
As Jim says – time is what stops everything from happening at once.
Thanks elissa!
[...] I have written before about how my world-view and my life have been transformed by the work of Mark Simpson. And how I have had various ‘identities’ imposed upon me by people online, due to my ‘relationship’ with his work. It was through reading Simpson that I was able to finally pluck up the courage to ditch feminism, and it is his work on metrosexual masculinities that has given my writing and my lust for gender theory a new lease of life. [...]